love is the solution

The 2016 election woke me up. The hyperbolic polarization broke my somnambulant attachment to hating others as a form of self-defense. I already knew the government was at best an impotent no-show parent, and at worst an insatiable cannibal. But I was hooked on the us versus them battle. The cycle of expecting others to do what I had not: to love all people completely, to treat others as myself, to not treat anyone as disposable.

As a lifelong activist, my teenage years were spent pouring over MLK’s speeches, analyzing Archbishop Tutu’s reconciliation committees, trying to wrap my brain around Gandhi’s non-violence.

It seemed impossible to me. To love those who harmed me. The world seemed to overflow with pain. My life did too. Discrimination. Violence. Being hurt for who I was. Fending for myself when I was still too young to drive or vote. Finding camaraderie with others who had been abandoned by a system designed to keep us struggling.

And yet something in me kept returning, magnetically, to the call to unconditional love. I kept zooming out. I kept noticing that the anger in me matched the anger in the others, that their hatred for me mirrored my own stomach-sinking sense that I was not good enough. I kept wondering how we would achieve peace via war. I kept wondering who would drop the weapon first.

Am I brave enough to lead with love? Am I strong enough to not confuse love with boundary violation? Am I committed enough to liberation to want it for everyone? Am I humble enough to love everyone the way God loves them? What does that even mean? These are the questions I’ve been living for years.

For those who call this bypassing, I used to feel the same way. All I can say is, I have been devoted to the liberation of all since I was little kid. And this is where I’ve been led. Over and over. Back to love. Love mends. Love moves. Love FEELS whatever needs to be felt. Love takes accountability. Love heals from the inside out.

If we don’t feel that love is the answer, we need a different definition of love, not a different solution to the problem.